Annabel is going home from school today with a friend from her class. This little girl’s mom is picking them up, driving them to her house, and keeping my daughter for 2 1/2 hours for a fun-filled playdate. I’ll pick up Annabel before dinnertime and drive her the 1.5 miles home.
And I’m ridiculously sad about this.
Annabel is ecstatic. She packed her school backpack last night with 2 Barbie dolls, a ziploc bag of silly bands (knock-offs), and a pink beaded bracelet that she made for her new friend. She and her friend have been talking about the playdate for days. “Mama,” she informed me, “we’re going to trade silly bands and have a party in her bedroom! And, her mommy is going to make us quesadillas for a snack and I know she knows how to make them because Claire eats them sometimes in her school lunch!!!”
Yes, this sure sounds fun for her. And I’m sure part of me will like spending one-on-one time with Luke this afternoon.
So why is crazy me so sad? Maybe it’s because Annabel leaves for school at 7:45, and usually I see her by 2:15. Today, it’ll be 10 hours before I see her again. I’ll miss her. Maybe it’s because she’s absolutely fine with someone else’s mom picking her up from school; yes, I know this mom, and I do trust that she can drive my child 2 miles safely. But it’s weird-she’s not a good friend of MINE picking up my child.
When our children are very small, often we choose friends and make our kids play with theirs. Sometimes those turn out to be their best friends, too. But now that Annabel’s in school full time, she’s choosing and making her own friends. These friends, while sweet, energetic, imaginative, fun-loving girls, have nothing to do with me.
I know, it’s not all about me nor should it be.
But I feel that tug, that tug at my heart and at the pit of my stomach when I send my six year-old off into that big world of school and playdates and the making of friendships that are out of my realm of control. That tug that wants me to fold her back into my world, my house, my arms and yes, even my womb for a little bit longer.
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