As someone who got totally screwed with a Christmas birthday, I refuse to give up a single other holiday. So I celebrate Valentine’s day and all of its commercialism. I don’t care how made up it is or by whom, I don’t care how stressed out it makes people trying to make dinner reservations, and I don’t care about people who are too cool for such hokey things as paper Valentines and candy hearts. “Bring it!” I say.
Not that you’ll find me out for a fancy dinner, dressed in my car-to-table high heels, opening a Tiffany box from my husband. Instead, we plan on celebrating in a much more family on a budget kinda way. Here’s how:
Babysitting exchange
Mel actually taught me this one. It works like this: Step 1: Make friends with another couple in the neighborhood who have a kid. Step 2: Determine whether or not they have a kid who sleeps. Step 3: Propose a babysitting exchange. Step 4: You put your kid to bed, neighbor comes over, and you and your honey go out. Step 5: You go babysit their kid the next night while they go out.
I recommend that you really aim for someone in your neighborhood. The easier it is to make the exchange, the more likely you are to stick with it and keep your date nights going.
Just be sure to not skip Step 2. I have a great neighbor who came over and worked while my kids slept soundly one night, only to hand me her screaming 2 year old the next night as she and her husband went out. It took me over two hours to get her daughter to bed. After a day of taking care of your own kids, it’s just too much to have to fight someone else’s kid. While I’m still friends with my neighbor, but we’ve found other couples who are a better fit with us to do babysitting exchanges with.
Mind you, you can’t expect it to go smoothly every time. My friend Dayna was watching the girls one night when Penny decided she was done sleeping in a diaper and REALLY REALLY NEEDED HER UNDERWEAR on RIGHT NOW. Fortunately Dayna handled it like a pro and the girls eventually did go back to sleep for her. She’s actually agreed to babysit for us Friday night, so we can get our Valentine’s date in. She and her husband will go out on Saturday night leaving me to watch their big screen TV. Hurray!
Give a chore in lieu of a gift
I’ve wracked my brains for what to get Louis and came up with diddly. We try to give each other consumables usually (wine, chocolate, beer, etc), but I can’t find a really yummy bottle I feel like giving him this year. So instead, I’ve decided to take his bike in to get fixed. He broke it last summer in the middle of 1/2 day bike ride and just has not managed to get it to the bike shop yet. While spring is still months away (damn groundhog), I know he’s going to really appreciate having his bike ready to go on the first warmish day.
Request a gift you need
It’s not romantic, but I’m going to Costa Rica this year, and I really need a light weight rain jacket. As lovely as my husband can be, his gift giving record is spotty at best. This is why I taped a picture of the jacket I’d like on the fridge with a giant read heart next to it. I then said, “I would like that, please. I need it for my trip.” Now every day I remind him by pointing at it and performing a little I-need-a-jacket-so-I-won’t- get-wet-in-the-rainforest pantomime.
My cousin’s high school girlfriend always gave him a list of what she wanted, and I realize how much happier she was whenever a holiday rolled around. My own tact of broad hints, “Look at that really beautiful painting. Don’t you think that would look really great by the front door?” never ever worked. So hopefully Hubbie will find me a great rain jacket that will make me think of him when I’m on my trip. (That’s a little romantic, isn’t it?) Mind you, I will also happily take a nice bottle of wine and/or an offer to clean the house.
Hit the resale shop
Penny requested that we get a new house for Valentine’s day. She told me, “That would be a very nice gift.” I told her that there would be no new house for Valentine’s Day despite her optimism about the real estate market, but that maybe we could find her a new dress. The truth is, she really does need a new dress because she’s either washing her clothes in hot water every night and shrinking them while we’re sleeping or she’s growing an inch a week.
Both of my daughters actually are growing like weeds and only wear things for a couple of months. If that’s true of your kids too, then let’s make a plan: you give your kids’ things to Goodwill and I’ll do the same. If everyone does this, then we can all stop buying them clothes in department stores and start giving our money to charity instead. Win- win!
Seriously, I tried to buy Penny a dress in the store yesterday and discovered that all their winter clothes have been sold out in her size and that they’re only stocking spring clothes now (cruel cruel world). It won’t be spring for 4 more months here, so I’m hitting the resale rack and hoping to find that cute dress the little girl across the street was wearing last winter.
To be honest, I think we owe it to our kids to embrace the holiday, any holiday, no matter how we feel about them in our heart of hearts (no pun intended). Let them get jaded and discover how overblown and expensive these things can get on their own. For now I want my daughters to enjoy a warm little party in the midst of this cold winter, and I want them to see their mom and dad enjoy a little romance.
I’ll leave it to other bloggers cleverer than me to write something about making heart shaped cakes, decorations for your home, and handmade Valentine’s with your kids . For now, I hope you ‘re making extravagant plans with your loved ones or that you’re planning to just chill out at home with a romantic comedy once the kiddos are in bed. I don’t think it really matters how you celebrate, just that you choose to celebrate.
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