Archive for the ‘ Pregnancy ’ Category

Dancing into the Moment

Last Saturday I sat in on one of Boston Ballet’s Adaptive Dance classes, which are offered to children with Down syndrome with the primary goal of building a love of dance.

I could tell you that I accepted the invitation to observe this class because I was curious, because I love dance, and because I think Boston Ballet is a fantastic organization that gives a lot to the Boston community, and so I wanted to learn more about the Adaptive Dance program. Because that would all be true. But it wouldn’t be the whole truth.

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Failing at Pregnancy

I hate being pregnant. There, I said it. Despite the fact that this child is wanted, that we had an easy time conceiving while I have friends struggling with infertility, that my own mother tells me she never felt healthier than the three times she was pregnant, I said it. I hate being pregnant, and it feels good to get it off my swollen, blue-veined chest.

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The OED cites “heartache” from 1000 (meaning “heartburn”). But Hamlet’s use of the word is the first recorded use of “heartache” to mean “pain or anguish of mind, esp. that arising from disappointed hope or affection.”

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In a room
There is a needle
And I’m surfing

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My Birth Story

Delivering a baby is not like ordering a meal at a restaurant. This is probably not news to anyone, yet the idea persists for most of us that we can somehow “order” up the labor we want. We write birth plans, we take childbirth classes, we read Spiritual Midwifery and even though we know that anything can happen once those contractions start coming every 4 minutes, we really want labor to go like we planned it.

If my husband and I could have ordered up a delivery it would have gone like so…

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Enjoying the Last Few Weeks of Pregnancy

Yes, that’s right, folks! It’s possible to enjoy the last few weeks of your pregnancy. True, your body feels like it’s about to explode and you have a 100 aches and pains. True, you should not be held responsible for the things that come out of your mouth or for your ability to do addition. And true, your every waking moment is filled with answering the phone/email and informing all your well-meaning friends and family that, “No, the baby is not here yet. ” And, “Actually, we probably won’t call you when we’re in labor, you screaming idiot.”

All of this aside, I am trying like a madwoman to really enjoy the home stretch of this pregnancy. As I am 97% sure that this will be the last time that I am pregnant, I want to mark this time in some way, claim it, own it, and enjoy it as best I can. So here it is- Reasons to Enjoy the Last Weeks of Pregnancy- or, My Last Pregnancy Hurrah!

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Bleeding Kansas

I’m from Kansas. That statement most often evokes responses like, “Hey Dorothy,” or, “Does anyone actually live in Kansas?” But after this Sunday’s murder of Dr. George Tiller–a family man, a churchgoer, a fellow Kansan, and yes, a medical practitioner who sanctioned a woman’s right to choose and also provided late-term abortions–the term Bleeding Kansas comes to mind once again.

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The Belly


Do NOT talk about the belly. At 9 months pregnant, I am well aware of the size of my belly. I know it is huge. I know you see it coming minutes before you see me actually round a corner. I know it takes out chairs and papers left on desk corners when I’m not paying attention, which is most of the time. And no I am not having twins.

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Hurricane Beth

I am a hormonal hurricane. I have presently laid waste to my own household and don’t be surprised if I make landfall in your own backyard for I am pregnant and hell knows what I’m capable of. My poor husband and toddler don’t seem to know what hit them. One minute I’m smiling fondly at [...]

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Upon Getting a Positive Result from a Home Pregnancy Test or What Charles Bukowski Might Write If He Were a Woman, Discovered He Was Pregnant, Lived a

Much More Boring Life, and Were a Much Less Talented Poet (This Last Condition, Of Course, Would Have Absolutely NOTHING To Do With the Fact That He Was a Woman) I don’t want to miss wine or soda or coffee. I don’t want hemroids or fat hips and ankles. Nor do I want swollen breasts [...]

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A High-Risk Pregnancy

Upon discovering you’re having a high-risk pregnancy, everything changes. Gone is your excitement. Your joy. The easy jokes with your husband. That cute nickname you’ve picked out for the baby. You’re instead gripped with a deep fear and regret. And yet… life goes on. You still have a job, a toddler to care for, and [...]

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